It's the lag

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Why I hate facebook

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No I don't want to know what character in Harry Potter I am.

Thespian

You. Yeah you, the guy on the tv show, acting like you're playing video games. You're doing it wrong. No one uses the shoulder buttons that much. And stop tilting from side to side. That isn't a wii. Thank you.

Screenplay

Missionary

Faith

Mutualism

Huzzah

Evolution

Well I've figured out why we as Human Beings need to sleep.
To prevent us from going to Taco Bell. No matter what, every time you stay up till 2 am or so, you will ALWAYS crave Taco Bell. Sleep is just our natural defense against poor quality meat and genetically-altered corn tortillas.

Ethics

I'm not bald, but I am lazy.

Number Association

Alright here's a little personality test for you all.
I will give a number, and you respond with a number that it makes you think of.

1. 3,768
2. 2,500,000
3. 24
4. 100
5. 9999
6. 60,400
7. VII
8. 12.22201
9. 101
10.2,353,221,200



Answers (highlight to show):


1. 10
2. 44
3. 2000
4. 2001
5. 60,238,122
6. 10,000,000,000,000,000,001
7. 3.14159265358979323
8. 3/12
9. 522.11
10. 710


Results:
10 Correct - You are a passive aggressive extravert
7-9 Correct - You love animals
4-6 Correct - You are a compulsive liar
2-3 Correct - You can do a backflip
1 Correct - You should apologize for that thing you did to her cat
0 Correct - SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY

Swangin'

Public Service Announcement

Alright, so I went to Taco Bell the other day. And I ordered one of those crunchwrap supremes, but then the cashier just says, "REAAAGGHHWWWKK." Which definitely raised an eyebrow, for me at least. But upon closer examination, it turned out the cashier wasn't a cashier at all. It was a Pterodactyl! I took some time trying to wrap my head around this, when it all suddenly dawned on me. I wasn't at Taco Bell at all. I was in the JURRASSIC PERIOD. So guys(and gals), next time you go to Taco Bell. Make sure you are actually walking into Taco Bell, not some other geologic era.

Human Achievement

So I thought of an invention. It'd be like a sled. You know the kind you use to slide down hills when its snowing. Except instead of a regular sled, you could use it in the summer time too. And instead of being a sled shape, it'd be a disc. But instead of using the disc to slide down a hill, you insert this disc into a dvd player, and it will play a video of people having sex with each other on your TV. I'll call it a defibrillator.