It's Just Walken

(click to enlarge)

Accidents Happen

How to get people to respect you

Solitude

Confession

Nobody's perfect, and I'll be the first to admit that. This isn't exactly easy for me to say, but sometimes... I use puns. But don't worry too much, I am seeking professional help. But I also believe my transgressions have given me the opportunity to ensure that others do not make the same mistake.

I know how you all think. I know sometimes you're at a party, and everyone is using puns, and you don't want look like a total tool, so you say a pun or two yourself. You're thinking "Oh its just a couple puns, I can stop whenever I want". And that's what you'll keep telling yourself. But puns are a gateway comedic literary device, pretty soon you might find yourself using similes, extended metaphors, or (God forbid) limericks. And I don't want to see anyone throwing their whole life away on the streets giving hand jobs for limericks.

So I've decided to do a public service and have made these posters for you all to print out and spread the word on the dangers of pun use.

And they say chivalry is dead.

Knighthood

I won't go as far as to say I look forward to a time when the Queen of England is in danger. But I am curious to see how things work out if she ever needed to call upon her knights, Elton John, Ian Mckellen, Sean Connery, and etc., to defend her.

Philanthropy

Someone had complained to me about getting a C+ in chemistry the other day. I thought she should of been ashamed. There are villages in Somalia that could live off a C+ for an entire year. Some are so impoverished that they don't have access to any of the alphabet and must resort to only making clicking noises.

Xenophobia